becoming 2014

January 1, 2014.

The old year has passed, the new year has come. It seems as good a time as any to try - yet again - to pick my laptop up and write something on this little blog. I'm not one for resolutions, but I do have a desire to write more in 2014...mostly for myself, as a creative outlet and a way to process externally all that swirls internally in my head. I asked for Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird for Christmas... "Instructions on writing and life." I'm not a writer by trade, of course, but I am hopeful that it will inspire me.

Anyhow, enough about the blog and writing. Back to January 1, 2014!

For me, 2013 was a year of bountiful blessings. Please let me say - I am truly aware that this is a great gift and one to not take for granted. I'll be the first to say that I have had other January 1sts where this would not have been my honest reflection on the year that passed... January 1sts where I closed the books on the year prior with gratitude that I somehow made it through by the grace of God. But, for whatever reason God chose, 2013 was a really sweet and happy year for Jayson and me. 

It was our first full year of marriage, chock full of memories and trips and adventures and so much love. After having two contracts fall through, we bought a house that feels like a gift straight from God, ordained in ways we couldn't have imagined. We joined a new married small group that is rocking our world in the best possible way, one Wednesday at a time. We went on the trip of a lifetime to Tuscany, Rome and Santorini, 2 1/2 weeks that we will remember and cherish for the rest of our lives. We enjoyed God's favor and provision in our jobs. We walked through life with family and friends who we love dearly, and who love us so well in return. We started going to a new church that feels like it's right where we're supposed to be. We watched all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights and now have a 2014 goal to be just like Eric and Tami Taylor. :)

Blessings, blessings, blessings.

"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

But here's a funny thing about a year of blessings. If left to your own devices, or, like me, my own crazy meandering thoughts that can take me captive instead of the other way around, a year of blessings can lead to fear in the new year. "If things were this good in 2013, what must be coming in 2014?" I think when you close a year of trials, you have no choice but to hope for things to swing up. But when the opposite is true, it's easy to feel like you're just waiting for the shoe to drop.

I may not know what 2014 has in store, but I am confident that this is not God's desire for my outlook.

So I sit here on January 1, 2014, praying for God to give me His perspective on the new year. I have so many dreams - dreams for our family, our new home, our neighborhood, our church, our community, our jobs. Dreams for life and peace and joy and rest. Dreams that, on January 1, 2015, I'll sit on my couch and again write, "Blessings, blessings, blessings." And yet the deeper truth that I know is that, no matter what 2014 has in store, whether God gives or takes away, by his grace and because of his love and provision, I will still be able to say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord." 

So cheers to 2013 - a year of blessings! Thank you, Lord!

And cheers to 2014 - a year of blessings! Thank you for what you will do, Lord... for your care for me, your love for me, your provision over me, and your faithfulness, no matter what the new year brings.

becoming a blogger again

I used to have a blog.  Blogs, actually.

When I lived in New York, it was Lulled By The Train. That blog poured out of my soul as I lived in a city that inspired me just by walking out my front door to get a cup of coffee or pick up my dry cleaning. I fell in love with New York as I wrote that blog, and I fell in love with blogging and writing as I lived in New York.

When I moved to Atlanta, it was The Lovely Days. I wanted so badly to carry my life and, subsequently, my blog, to my life here, and it just never really worked out. I tried, but I just couldn't catch the rhythm.

And now, I find myself in a new season yet again. The city hasn't changed, but so much else of life has. I got married. I turned 30. Life and seasons and friendships are changing. People I love are moving across the country and having babies. Every day brings something new. I'm in a constant state of learning, transitioning and growing.

So I'm here, Becoming. Becoming a new creation. Becoming a wife and a 30-something and a part of a community. Someday, Lord willing, becoming a home owner and a mother to a puppy and even a mother to a human. As I become new things, I'm learning that it's not about checking boxes or to-do lists or tying things up with pretty ribbons. It's about what happens in the in between, about who you become while you're becoming something new.

I think a lot about who I want to become. I want to become someone who is full of calm and peace, no matter what the circumstances. I want to become someone insanely kind and scandalously grace-filled and contagiously joyful. I want to become someone who's not afraid of cooking, who's punctual and who laughs all the time and can run two miles without feeling like I'm going to die. I want to have a deeper, more intimate relationship with Christ, and I want that to spill into every other earthly relationship I have. Really, I just want to become more like Him.

So here's to a new step on the path of becoming who Christ made me to be - not out of effort or earning, but out of resting and abiding in the Spirit, being changed not from the outside in but from the inside out. And here's to what happens all along the way, which is beautiful too. 

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Phil. 1:6