becoming a part of a community

I'm reading Shauna Niequist's book Bread and Wine right now. Let me just tell you: I LOVE this book. In fact, I recently told Jayson that I think it's my favorite book I've ever read, and I sincerely mean that.

In one of the chapters, Shauna writes,

"One of the best things about our six years in Grand Rapids was this little band of friends we made, something like a tribe, very much like a family. We laughed and cried and shared lawn care equipment. We visited each other in the hospital when our babies were born. We grilled out and spent weekends at the lake and up north, and we gathered around the table what seems like a million times...

They were our people, our stand-in family, our truth tellers, our problem solvers, our middle of the night phone calls and unannounced stopovers…"

Isn't that beautiful? It is! And it's so exceptionally beautiful because it is a picture of community. Real, authentic, community, shared with friends who are like family.

Since we got married almost a year ago, community has been a piece of our married life that's just... missing. The funny thing is that Jayson and I have lots and lots of dear, precious friends. We have friends from childhood and college and work, single friends and married friends, friends with kids and no kids, friends all over the country. We could line up a double date every night of the week and go probably six months without repeating. Oftentimes, we do just that.

I'm not saying all of that like it's a good thing, something to boast about. Yes, we have a large number of amazing friends. But right now, it feels like we're living in a season of a lot of breadth without a lot of depth. Oh, the depth is there when we actually see the friends. But when you go 6 months without a good catch-up, it's hard to feel like you're living life together in a meaningful way.

The hardest part is that we don't exactly know what to do about it. We've tried joining a small group through our church, but it honestly just hasn't translated into much more than a once-a-week 2-hour Monday night gathering. So we're feeling just... stuck, I guess. Stuck in how to create the community that we so desperately desire. Stuck in a city like Atlanta where traffic accosts you at every turn, the suburban sprawl spans 60 miles end to end, we are renters with no idea where we want to live long term, and we're only mildly confident that our current church is the one where we want to plant. Stuck.

But even though we feel stuck, I still believe with all my heart and soul that God created us as a couple to live in a community of friends like Shauna describes. He desires for us to live among people who speak truth over us, who love us unconditionally, who share in joy and in grieving. I believe he desires us to live our marriage in a tribe, not in isolation.

So we have hope, and we keep believing that the God who placed the desire in our hearts for community will fulfill that desire with the community itself. In all honesty, I have no idea what it will look like or what steps he'll lead us to, but I'm excited to see where he leads us on our journey.

What about you? How have you created community? Any ideas or words of encouragement? I'd love to hear!

p.s. Even as we navigate transforming our individual communities as single people into one meshed community as a married couple, I can't reiterate enough how precious the women are that God has put in my life. I am surrounded by stunning, loyal, wise friends.

For example, my Tuesday night ladies. These women overwhelm me with awesome, real friendship, not just every Tuesday, but every single day.